HARD DOG BITES: The Salvation of Adrien Broner
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HARD DOG BITES: The Salvation of Adrien Broner
By Blake Chavez, Doghouse Boxing (July 31, 2015)

Adrien Broner Hard Dog Bites
Hard Dog Bites
Shame on you Al Haymon. Yes, I said it. And shame on you Floyd Jr. for deviously playing the role of Adrien Broner's "Big Brother". I'm calling B.S. on both of you. Just because "The Problem" appears to have the mind and attention span of a kindergarten student, doesn't give you the right to take advantage of him being handicapped. It's obvious that the kid is challenged. "That boy dumb as hell", is how my street sources describe him.

The only way for Adrien Broner to redeem himself and put himself back on track as a formidable prospect and regain potential face-of-boxing status is for Adrian to be bold. Not bold ignorant. Not bold foolish. Bold as in bold in business. And he'd better start right now. Today. My advice: Put down that big juicy slab of ribs, wipe the corn bread and hot sauce off your face and take control of your career, before you no longer have one!

I don't know if Adrien can read. I don't know if Adrien can even count. What I do know is that if anyone in his family can, or anyone in his bad-breath Band Camp can, or anyone shoveling double cheese burgers down his throat can read, and they see this story, they need to bring it to his attention right now, before he goes dead-ass broke and disappears from the scene. Read this column to him. Spell it out to him in English, Ebonics, or sign language that if he stays the course Al Haymon and Floyd Jr. have him on, he will soon be known as "About Thousands". He can put the "About Billions" B.S. to bed if he doesn't flip a U-turn today on those who are destroying his career. He can either stay stuck on stupid, or grab the family-jewels he's always tugging on and control his own destiny.

C'mon Al Haymon. You are sharper than next season's Armani jackets. You have yet to miss a trick, other than the occasional statistical oddity that has more to do with the inevitability of chance due to the multiple variables involved in this business of pro boxing which you pretty much own. In other words, you know exactly what time it is, you know exactly who is going to shine, when they are going to shine, and for how long they are going to shine.

Haymon allowed AB to shine, but the poor, ignorant little man didn't know his place and so he now pays the price. AB was too good for his own good. Folks started comparing him to TBE. AB had three belts in three different weight divisions by the time he was twenty-three. And he skipped past a title at 140 or he'd have four belts in four divisions. The fans and media dared to speak his name in the same breath as TBE. It was said that AB had a similar boxing style. Their defense drew comparisons, as did their hand speed. AB's goose was cooked once the talk turned to his charisma and outrageous, made-for-today's-social-media outsized personality. The final nail in his boxing coffin was his unrivaled love of money. To TBE, that was sheer blasphemy. I believe that TBE was pissed-off that the young gun was stealing some of his limelight.

Let's face it, Floyd is an old dude. Say it with me: Floyd is an old man, damned near forty.

Quit it, dude is old as hell! TBE wasn't feeling "The Problem". He never has. Why? Because Adrien is young. TBE pretends to understand, but the reality is that old dudes can't dig what the young folks favor. That's just the way it is. Adrian was the shiny new next Big Thing, but greedy-gut Floyd wasn't having it. But he played it off like they were tight.

Yeah, they were almost like Big Brother/Little Brother in the media. Ain't that a bitch? Sounds like some Magic Mike on-the-down-low-kind-of-sh!t if you ask me. But TBE is nothing, if not clever. One keeps one's friends close... one's enemies even closer.

AB's social media behavior was outrageous wild and fresh. TBE's antics of' 'making it rain' at strip clubs paled in comparison to the young buck's shenanigans. But considering that AB was operating on a small-time budget compared to TBE, Adrian did make some noise. Before AB made the scene, how many times have you seen a fighter "haunch-on" his opponent in the ring like he was fitting to breed? Never. Was it ill-mannered? yes. But hilarious as hell all the same. How about AB's routine of having his big-gut daddy "brushing" his hair in the ring? That was genius. Juvenile and silly, yes. But again, hilarious as hell. And AB is still the only guy to make the-mouth-that-roared, Paulie Malignaggi's eyes water. He did so by humiliating Paulie during the promotion of their fight by becoming Mac-Daddy to Paulie's old flame. Scorched the hell out of poor Paulie. AB got Paulie choked up. Priceless.

AB self-promoted his butt off, but there was no genuine love coming his way. There was no room at the Welterweight Inn, and it was just a matter of time before the world demanded AB take on Floyd. AB was knocking at that PPV door louder than a SOB. Bam! Bam! "Open up Uncle Al, it's me, AB. I got folks riled up! I got them titles and I got their attention just like I told you I would." Just imagine Uncle Al peeping out one side of the curtain. Imagine Floyd peeping out the other side. They look each to the other. Perhaps the conversation went something like this--

TBE: "Al, I thought I told you to keep this pup from nipping at my heels? He's biting all up on my ankles now, and barking like he wants a pork chop. I told you those pork chops are all mine. And now he wants a room at the Welterweight Inn. That boy is crazy."

Uncle Al: "To be honest, I was grooming him to take your place, but you keep hanging on to the glory like an Alabama tick and don't want to share any of it!" TBE: "You got that right. I tucked

that boy under my wing and brain-washed him with all that 'I'm your big brother sh!t, just so I never had to fight his young ass. They tell me at my gym he's cock-strong, and I've seen him spar big dudes, he got heart and a helluva chin. You put 10-15-25 million in front of him, hungry as he is, there won't be no going back. He just might really be About Billions. I'd probably beat him, but it might be dangerous because he can punch. The big risk is all the sh!t he would talk if I faced him. Win or lose he'd steal the show. And Uncle Al, I can't be having him or anybody else stealing my show. Handle it."

Uncle Al: "No problem. I'll just put him in with some big, come-straight-ahead cavemen at 147.

They say he has trouble in the gym with that type 'cause he don't like to run from a challenge, so he'll get all ignorant and go toe-to-toe with them. Just like a fool would. Yes, keeping this youngster in his own lane is child's play. The key is he believes we are both doing what's best for him, so keep up the good work. If your Daddy talks bad about him, jump on AB's side. See you at the bank."

So there was poor, clueless AB knocking at the door. He was like Dorothy in Oz.

He had brought The Wizard the three broomsticks (title belts) just as Uncle Wiz requested. He was ready to click his boxing shoes three times and get the money at the end of the rainbow. Instead, he got sh!t on and fed to some monsters. And to top it off he can't figure out how it all happened.

Why do I believe Broner got gamed? Because savvy boxing people don't put their young, growing, the-next-big-thing white-hot golden goose in with Marcos Maidana unless they plan on running him all night. No, you feed him something smaller and easier to digest like a pedestrian Mauricio Herrera, or, at worst, a Danny-on-the-way-down Garcia. You don't feed him to a 170 pound Frankenstein monster named Shawn Porter who has just brutally prison-punked the very same guy your own golden goose went the entire twelve rounds with. You just do not do that.

Unless. Unless you are trying to bury that goose, and bury him deep. OK, maybe Maidana was a boo-boo. But then stirring a hornet's nest by matching AB with Porter. Even Stevie Wonder can see something is rotten there. Rotten and stinky. And I'm putting Al & Floyd on blast for it. Floyd claimed repeatedly that he would look out for AB. Look out for Little Brother? Yeah. Good lookin' out. Terrific Floyd. What a great thing you did.

So, AB, start your campaign today, for a Floyd bout. If he wants to get win number fifty, just tell him he's gotta go through you. Period. The media and the fans will eat it up. That hook you knocked Porter down with would absolutely crush TBE. And that is exactly why he don't want none. Look. You can keep getting punked and taking those one million dollar bribes (purses) to stay friendly with Floyd--and those purses will shrink now that you have two losses-- or you can be a real man and "get what's yours", as they say. AB vs Floyd is the most interesting fight out there. Think of the promotion. Imagine the press conferences. Imagine All-Access. Sweet.

Imagine the frenzy and electricity amongst the glitterati on fight night. Floyd would pick

up the biggest check available to him. $100 million plus, all day long. $100 mill plus to face a supposedly much smaller man... a man with two losses? A win-win for Floyd, right?

Team Broner: go to Uncle Al. Ask for the fight and that ten to twenty million dollar payday that keeps moving farther and farther away from becoming reality. See what Uncle does, not what he says. Mention that $40 million dollars you left on the table with Roc Nation. Count out how much you have made so far, and how much he thinks you will make in the next two years--as you rebuild your image while taking smaller purses as a guy with two losses will have to do-- add up that money and see if is even half of what Roc Nation was trying to stuff in your pockets.

See if it all together can match up what you would earn in a TBE match:-up. Fighting Floyd, if the numbers sky-rocket with Broner talking major sh!t, Team Broner could stand to make a $20-$30 million dollar cut of the pie for an hour of work. TBE does not KO Broner. If it gets crazy, Broner makes double in a rematch.

A Thurman won't bring that size check, neither will Khan, unless Floyd abandons his security blankets (MGM Grand/Nevada State Athletic Commission/Vegas judges/ NSAC appointed referee) and fights Khan in an outdoor stadium over-the-pond. That is not going to happen.

Floyd vs Canelo may bring as huge a purse as TBE vs Broner. But Canelo must destroy Cotto for that to happen. And besides, TBE handled Canelo easily last time.

OK Team Broner: you have the blue print for mega-crazy money put straight in your pocket. I don't know who is driving the car for Team Broner, but whoever it is needs a boot in the ass if they keep advising him to continue kissing Floyd's behind. It is doing Broner more harm than good. Neither Uncle Al nor TBE is going to pay AB's bills or his child support once AB is out the game. Get real. Team Broner got played and he's afraid to stand up for himself as they ship his ass back to Cincinatti labeled as a loser, and BTW, take those two losses with you.

So what happens if Broner calls out Floyd, business being business and all? He has nothing to lose and everything to gain. TBE will be deluged everywhere he goes: "What's up with you not wanting to fight Adrien, Champ?" The fans will holler for it. The media would have a field

day with it. Adrien would be bigger than ever. He could become a monster. No matter what happens, TBE would be squeezed until he took the fight. It's a win-win for Broner. He has no future with the path he's on, asking for re-matches with dangerous fighters for small purses is a dumb play. Dumb and stupid. Get even with these puppet-masters Adrien, make them pay for toying with AB's emotions!

Mayweather vs Broner. I'd buy that PPV in a hot second. Wouldn't you?

From The Peanut Gallery:

Jean Pascal got his ass whipped by Gonzalez on HBO. It was a nice cheat to set-up the Kovalev rematch. BTW, what a bum they fed to "Krusher". Could have saved the air fare and just fed him an American cab driver. Or at least an Uber driver.

Max Kellerman, where is your integrity? Max mumbled--twice- that he would have to see the tape of the fight to make a definitive comment on who won. Listen, Maxxy... you get paid to say what you saw and saying so while it happens. You've got the best seat in the house, the best boxing job on the planet, and that's the best crap you can come up with? Think about that. Max you owe us an apology, and make it quick.

I recorded, but didn't bother to watch the BJ Flores debacle. Neither one of those guys can fight.

My list of most awful fighters still getting air play: Erislandy Lara,Vanes, Nonito, Alfredo Angulo, Julio Caesar Chavez Jr. & Sr.--just let them all out in the backyard with Bika, Ishe, Sugar Shane and Brian Vera to romp in the mud with the hogs. Nobody wants to see these guys again. And Jesse "I back up the entire fight" Vargas, please stop begging; you are very weak.

Whatever happened to Frankie Gomez? They tell me he's dumber than Alvarado, Broner, and Julio put together. Sheeez! Dump that sick puppy and let's get on with it. The next time I hear his name it better be for a title or I'm driving to wherever he's scheduled to box and throwing a cup of beer on him at the weigh-in, because I don't trust he'll show for the fight.

Blake Chavez answers all of his emails--- strikeplatinum@gmail.com


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