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In 1988 Mike Tyson cemented his legacy as 'The Man'. He had destroyed Michael Spinks to claim the undisputed heavyweight championship of the world.
At the same time, another Mike was inching towards greatness with a young Chicago Bulls squad.
Insert Robin Givens. Before Tyson can say 'Head of the Class' he’s severed ties with everyone he’s been associated with since puberty, entangled in the tentacles of Don King, lost his crown, divorced and desperately trying to climb his way back to the top. All of this occurs before his 25th birthday.
Two years later, while one Mike is busy winning championships and urging children to be like him, another is sitting in an Indiana penitentiary for rape.
All of this forces me to ponder, what if the former First Lady of pugilism married the sultan of swoosh? Would Mike Tyson be where he is today? Would word of his conditioning for his upcoming bout with Danny Williams evoke such hysteria amongst his fans? This writer believes that history would be different. Here is my satirical take on what I think would have happened if Robin Givens chose Michael Jordan over Mike Tyson.
The following takes place following his bout with Michael Spinks.
While Iron Mike is basking in the glory of his greatest victory, Michael Jordan is going one-on-one with his new bride Ms. Givens. Just as he awakes from their passionate first night, he sees his wife and mother-in-law on the phone speaking with Chicago Bulls owner Jerry Reinsdorf, demanding a trade. Michael inquires “What are you doing? And how did your mom get in here?” “I’m having you traded to the Clippers,” Robin explains, “The air is terrible in Chicago and I can’t find a good Gucci outlet anywhere in Illinois. And Mom was sleeping under the bed”, she adds.
Meanwhile, back in Vegas, Iron Mike is waking from a long restful sleep. He leans over three supermodels to grab the remote control. Flicking on ESPN he’s horrified to see that his favorite basketball player has been traded to the Los Angeles Clippers. Angered by this horrible news he vows to train twice as hard for his upcoming opponent Frank Bruno.
With close friend and longtime trainer Kevin Rooney by his side, Mike destroys the big Brit in 12 seconds with an unprecedented 34 punch combination. As Frank Bruno is being rushed to the local brain surgeon Tyson calls his trusted manager Bill Cayton. “Bring me my next victim!” “Sure Mike”, Bill answers excitedly, “I’ve got a guy by the name of Buster Douglas in line”. “Good. I’m gonna ‘Bust’ his Doug ‘ass’!” They both laugh hysterically.
Several weeks into training, Mike becomes lethargic. The long days and hard work are starting to take its toll. Rooney, sensing trouble, quickly turns on Sportscenter where today’s top story is Michael Jordan shooting 3 for 25 in the Clippers 143-52 loss to the Bulls. Mike becomes enraged “He should divorce that new wife! His career will be ruined!” Unbridled anger engulfs his weary body, filling it with new life. Soon sparring partners are being bussed into the local hospital. Blue Cross sends death threats.
On February 11th, 1990, Mike Tyson knocks out James ‘Buster’ Douglas with the only punch thrown in the fight.
Five years later, the self proclaimed Baddest Man on the Planet retires with an unblemished record of 53-0. Healthy, wealthy and happy, Michael Gerard Tyson enjoys the rest of his days training his beloved pigeons and reminiscing with close friends.
While most of the above is beyond absurd, let’s all hope the end to this fictional tale becomes reality.
P.S. Michael Jordan retired in 1994 after an unsuccessful comeback with the CBA’s Kansas City Scrubs.
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© Copyright / All Rights reserved: Doghouse Boxing 1998-2004
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By Henry Dyck (July 27, 2004)
