Random Howlings on De La Hoya, Pacquiao, Mayweather Jr, UFC, Margarito, CSI and much More
By Coyote Duran, DoghouseBoxing.com (Aug 16, 2008) Doghouse Boxing (Photo © German Villasenor)  
There is a fifth, or sixth (I don’t really know offhand. I’m really tired)…dimension, beyond that which is known to crazy people who see things. It is a dimension as vast as space (or Dan Stricker’s ass. You’d have to know the guy) and as timeless as a discussion with my ex-mother-in-law. That’s pretty much infinity in itself. L It is the middle ground between light and shadow; between science and superstition (Stevie Wonder or Stevie Ray Vaughan. Take your pick…Huh. TWO Stevies doing ‘Superstition’…nice), and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge; which in my case has nothing to do with sense and everything to do with ‘Cowboy Curtis’ possibly replacing Gil Grissom on ‘CSI’, my favorite network news cat, a gun-wielding Jerry Lewis, the greatest Metallica cover band ever and an alternative to Manny Pacquiao vs. Bobby Pacquiao.

This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Random Howlings Zone…which is rather small, actually. It’s about seven square feet around me. Not real comfortable .

READ ON!

'Random Howlings' opens up with sad news today. 1996 Olympic 165-pound bronze medalist Rhoshii Wells, 31, was murdered on Monday night in Las Vegas, Nevada; a victim of a senseless shooting in the presence of one of his six children. Wells, a former junior middleweight contender, hadn't fought in over three years since losing to former WBA super welterweight titlist Alejandro 'Terra' Garcia (the only pro fighter to have ever beaten Wells) in a rematch in Chicago. At the time of his passing, 'The Great One's' record was 18-2-2 (10). Doghouse Boxing extends our deepest sympathies to the Wells family in this time of tragedy...

I never thought I would see the day. 'CSI's' (original recipe) Gil Grissom, William Petersen will be leaving the CBS hit drama as a full-time player. Originally, Petersen was set to earn $600,000 per episode in the upcoming 2008-09 season but opted to remain executive producer while dedicating himself to stage work. Petersen, however, will return for a handful of episodes. Will it be enough to keep the show on top for its ninth consecutive season; especially since losing Gary Dourdan (Warrick Brown, who was murdered in the eighth season finale) and Jorja Fox (Sara Sidle who left early in the eighth season)? I can't confidently say yes but rumor has it that Laurence Fishburne might be joining the cast as a replacement. Good damn choice, if it's true. With this cast change, now I can't be 100% sure that 'CSI: Miami's' Horatio Caine will make it out of the woods after getting popped by that 'cop killer' bullet...

Doghouse Boxing's own in-Doghouse specialist-in-not-giving-a-damn-what-you-think, Johnny Benz, recently reported on retired Pound-For Pound King/World Welterweight Champion Floyd Mayweather Jr. allegedly in secret training for an upcoming fight. J.B.'s source, being Media Take Out.com, might have a point; in which the mild conspiracy theorist in me will expound upon in an article which you'll see in the next couple of days. I guarantee it'll be a doozy...or you might just drum me out of writing (Yeah...like I'm The Next Thomas Hauser. Dream on, Earring-Boy) altogether...

Regarding William Petersen, you know how you can look at a certain actor and immediately pick out characters they can play? When I look at Petersen, I see the future Bruce Wayne in a live-action 'Batman Beyond' flick. Come on; don't tell me you don't see it...

Although WBC/WBA super flyweight titlist Cristian Mijares holds the main WBA strap, now known as a 'super champion' in the 115-pound division since Mijares holds the WBA belt alongside one or more alphabet belts from either the WBC, IBF or the WBO. So, reasonably, the WBA had to crown a 'regular world champion' in the wake of such a monumental occasion. I mean, who wouldn't (Hint: I wouldn't, alpha-buttlords)? The wise WBA took it upon themselves to crown the winner of the upcoming September 15 bout between Nobuo Nashiro and Kohei Kono as their 'regular champ.' Here's the rub (if you consider figuratively mugging fighters with a hammer 'rubbing'): A current WBA 'interim' titlist already exists in Rafael Concepcion, who defends his paper sash against Jorge Arce on -get this- September 15; on the very same card Nashiro vs. Kono is on! So, if the 'BA already has an 'interim', then why on Mother Earth are they gouging two other fighters to fill the 'regular' position when there's already one perfectly good fighter in Concepcion hanging around; waiting to be a 'regular Joe'? I'll tell you why, Howlers. Because the WBA blows; that's why. That’s what the WBA stands for, kids: We Blow Always. Now do you see why the notion of 'belts making fighters money' doesn't always apply? 'Interim, regular and super'? Humph. Those don't sound like championship belts. They sound more like designations for feminine hygiene absorbency. Good for soaking up an accidental head butt laceration. Bad for boxing...

For now, Christian Bale's been doing great as Bruce/Batman as he and 'The Dark Knight' have been bitch-slapping around the box-office competition to the tune of $445,300, domestically (as of today), as well as having the biggest opening weekend ever (while raking in $708,800, worldwide) and boasting the highest opening weekend ever. If that's not enough, it's also surpassed 2002's 'Spider-Man’ as the highest grossing comic-book related movie ever. And to think the naysayers woefully panned the mere concept of the late Heath Ledger as The Joker while declaring Jack Nicholson the greatest Joker of all time. Bet they didn't see this coming in 1989...

Now that WBC lightweight titlist and Pound-For-Pound King Manny Pacquiao and promoter Top Rank put the kibosh on the Oscar De La Hoya option, due to the immovable 70/30 split Oscar wanted, can we finally get past how awesome/crappy this fight would be so we can theorize who 'The Golden Boy' will REALLY face come December 6? Odds are that if this fight really came off and Pacquiao lost, the message boards would be rife with excuses for Pacquiao and criticisms for Oscar. Plus, it's too late into Pac's career for a 'too much, too soon' moment; if that makes any sense. And what's so bad about Pacquiao facing the deserving Humberto Soto, anyway? Now there's a fight thick with suspense. The spoiler who took out Manny's little brother vs. the perennial bane of Mexico whose little brother was taken out? Woof, man. Sure, we'll have to sacrifice the glorious sight of a Manny Pacquiao-Bobby Pacquiao grudge match, but it might just be worth it. We in the media (where we should stay) all can't have the wherewithal to come up with great matchmaking/advisory decisions, now can we? ;)…

Five words: Mark Suppelsa stays in Chicago! I know. "Who?” you ask? Only the most professional and classy evening news reporter this side of ABC's Ron Magers. Since he left Fox Chicago 32 at the end of his contract, earlier this year, Mark's been doing the morning news on WTMX's (101.9) 'The Eric & Kathy Show' and plans on staying although he's earned a lead anchor berth on WGN Channel 9's evening news. A major influence of mine, it surprises me that a national news network hasn't scooped him up yet. Bill Kurtis leaving for A&E was bad enough for my news-loving psyche so I'm glad Suppelsa stayed...plus he's pro Green Bay Packers so I can't imagine he'd leave anytime soon. More on Eric and Kathy later in 'Howlings' but first, on to something entirely different...

Since we're talking about ex-supposed opponents for Oscar De La Hoya to beat up in December, I've never heard such speculation about which fighter 'The Golden Promoter' will face in his last hurrah and most, in the fans' eyes, are all bad. Let's be reasonable and narrow it down to some sensible candidates, shall we? Ostensibly, Oscar's best divisions to consider today are welterweight and junior middleweight. At 154, we've got either Vernon Forrest or Sergio Mora (who face each other again in September for Mora's WBC super welterweight title...the last belt Oscar held), WBA titlist Daniel Santos, Cory Spinks IBF titleholder Verno Phillips or Joel Julio. At welterweight, all viable opponents include: Everyone. Then again, there's always Shane Mosley in a rubbermatch, provided 'Sugar Shane' can dust Ricardo Mayorga in September. Why not? How hard can that fight be to make? Double then again, there's also Julio Cesar Chavez Jr. in a George W. Bush-style vengeance match. Remember where you hea...oh, never mind...

A couple of Fridays ago, my wife and I went to a teeny-ass rock club in Aurora (tucked away by the DMV on Indian Trail Road), 'Doug's Grill and Bar', where they feature local and nationally known bands for mere clams. We saw 'Chicago's Premier Metallica Cover Band', Blackened. Hey, don't laugh. For five bucks, these cats played for about three hours with but a ten-minute break dividing the show. Between Debbie and me, we've seen Metallica six times and you know what? Metallica -up to 'The Black Album'- ruled...but these cats were BETTER live. That's right; I said it. But to be fair, it was lead singer/rhythm guitarist John Dent who made the difference as to where James Hetfield sometimes couldn't cut the mustard live. As for lead guitarist Jim Snedeker, bassist Justin Welsh and drummer Vince Ochwat, you couldn't possibly ask for better tribute musicians. Add to this the fact that none of them play the copycat role; dressing like four regular guys rocking and doing it damn well. Maybe it was just me but I swear that, at any given time, there couldn't have been more than 30 people in the show area. The band played as if there over 3,000. If you live around the Chicagoland area, look 'em up and check 'em out. At the least, visit them at www.myspace.com/chicagoblackened...

I understand 'dollars and sense' but I'm still on the fence over the upcoming Kelly Pavlik vs. Bernard Hopkins fight on October 18. If this fight is to be at a catchweight, then why not make it a middleweight defense? Hopkins can make 160 in his sleep. If this fight has to be done between 160 and 168, then it should be for a Ring Magazine rating at super middleweight. If between 168 and 175, then it should be for a light heavyweight ranking. Then again, the novelty will sell. the question is: Can the Undisputed Middleweight Champion make Hopkins fight his fight and score the KO? If so, it'll be the first exciting bout ‘B-Hop’ has been a part of in years...

A story that's close to my heart: My neighbors to the East in Hammond, Indiana have placed fake, flat, stand-up coyotes around wetland islands where ducks and geese have loitered. It seems, however, that the ducks and geese don't give a rat's ass about the large cut-out style canids but passerby and drivers sure do; calling the Hammond Port Authority to complain about stray dogs hanging around the wetlands. Eventually, the coyotes will be removed from the areas altogether because, in the words of Jon Dittmar, a spokesperson for local contractor J.F. New, "They don't seem to be doing any good anymore and it appears they are upsetting some people." That just goes to show you that there is no gray area to being a coyote. Either people will just up and ignore coyotes or out-and-out think they suck...

UFC 90 is coming to Chicago on October 25! Look, I'll be the first to admit I'm not a purveyor of MMA/UFC but if I can score the creds, I'll do my best to deliver a fair and balanced assessment of the event. The main event will be UFC middleweight champ Anderson 'The Spider' Silva, 22-4, vs. TKO Major League MMA middleweight champ Patrick 'The Predator' Côté, 14-4. I did happen to catch Silva's last fight; a victory over light heavyweight James Irvin just last month and I can only wonder if Silva will catch Côté as quickly as he dispatched the former WEC heavyweight champ. I'll keep you Howlers up to date in my quest for open-mindedness...

Do you think now that Donald Trump is going to buy down-on-his-luck Ed McMahon's Beverly Hills home, saving the renowned sidekick from foreclosure, we'll soon see 'The Human Laugh Track' announce 'The Donald's' every entrance on ‘The Apprentice’ with a hearty "HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES DONNIE!"? Yeah, me neither. But isn't it curious that Trump is going to buy McMahon's house outright and lease it to him. Why doesn't he just give it to Ed? What's more important is...Do ya think Ed dreams about the Publisher's Clearing House people coming to his house with the big check?...Nah. He'd just have to sign it over to Trump. With a REALLY big pen...

Words cannot due justice to the display of heart Julio Gonzalez gave in defeat to new IBF number one light heavyweight contender Tavoris Cloud on August 8 in Chicago I've always liked watching Gonzalez fight but after handing Dariusz Michalczewski his very first loss, ironically, Gonzalez' career has been hit or miss which makes his gutsy loss to Cloud monumental. Gonzalez wouldn't go down or quit which could've made for a tragic night, had Julio not had such a rock-hard chin and legs like redwoods. But that's really irrelevant because one good shot is all it takes to take a man down a road he might never return from. Thank goodness this was not the case with Gonzalez. As for Cloud, he's in line for a shot at the IBF title; which Antonio Tarver holds; providing Tarver gets past Chad Dawson in October. Is Cloud ready for Tarver or Dawson? Not yet, IMO. this doesn't have to be immediate, of course. Beating Julio Gonzalez doesn't mean you can beat the world. It means you still have the rest of the world to beat...

According to Matthew J. Darnell of Shutdown Corner (courtesy of Yahoo.com), Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chad Johnson is looking seriously at changing his name to 'Ocho Cinco'; an obvious Spanish homage to his jersey number, 85. Now, I don't watch football but, from what I read, Senor Cinco has been fined for his 'XFL-like' apparel choice on, at least, one previous occasion. OK, I'm one to talk about having a funny name, having legally changed mine from 'Barack Yomama' to 'Coyote Duran', but 'Ocho Cinco'? Well, give me an irreverent, maverick spin on an identity and I'll give you eight Hispanic sailors on a leaky boat...

So WBA welterweight titlist Antonio Margarito tested clean for performance-enhancing drugs. >GASP! < You don't really think he beat Miguel Cotto on hard work, focused training and guts, do you? Are you high?! Yes, we are high. We're high on the concept of the mass majority of fighters these days gaining their laurels via the aforementioned qualities. Margarito didn't need the juice to beat everyone else he conquered. Why would he need it now when Cotto has his own weaknesses; as all fighters do? At the same time, that particular drug test had to be one of the most awaited since...well, I guess I don't know but I think common sense won out in this one. It's time that denial took a back seat to a good, clean performance because firing up the rumor mill about 'The Tijuana Tornado's' alleged 'roid ride is just as bad as explaining how cheap socks were at fault for a loss...

Boor De France Jerry Lewis was busted at Las Vegas' McCarran International Airport for concealing, of all things, a gun in his luggage. A gun. Hidden. In an airport. I know it might be a bit confusing to ask a comic (Is that what Lewis is these days? Huh. I wouldn't have guessed.) "Are you kidding me?!" but the question begs to be asked. And what is it: A prop gun whose firing mechanism is disengaged (The fuzz begged to differ) or an engraved gift he received during his 2007 Muscular Dystrophy Telethon? Not that he hasn't done a service to those who suffer from Muscular Dystrophy (and for that, the world should be grateful), but I would keep an eye on 'Le Roi du Crazy.' You get a gun for a gift during a charity telethon one year, you're waving it at Lisa Lampanelli and Sarah Silverman on The Strip the next year. And speaking of telethons...

All right, youse guys! Now's your chance to piss and moan with the best of 'em on a regular basis. Starting next week, I'm kicking off my weekly mailbag called 'Fandom Howlings' and I need YOU to hook me up with material. I know what you're thinking: "This cat's biting Dougie Fischer!" Not necessarily. You know how some guitar companies have lesser priced models available if you can't afford a higher-priced, well-known number? Well, think of Dougie as Maxboxing.com's Fender to me as Doghouse Boxing.com's Squier. Cheaper parts; still playable. Dougie? All-American made. Me? American design; made in China...waitaminnit...that's not right. Well, whatever. If you wanna float the cheap copy an e-mail about anything: welterweights, sanctioning bodies, 'CSI: Miami', 'CSI: Hoboken', Red Stripe Beer, Danielle Derek, Nikki Benz (no relation to Johnny) or whatever your little sleep-starved, bored-as-hell heart desires, please give me a yell at artofthepaw@yahoo.com...

Last weekend Eric Ferguson and Kathy Hart, hosts of 'The Eric & Kathy Show' (Duh.) on WTMX 101.9 in Chicago hosted their Ninth Annual 36-Hour Radiothon for Children’s Memorial Hospital to raise money to aid in funding cutting edge research and treatments for children all over the United States. Over the day-and-a-half that Eric and Kathy led the charge, they and legions of fans, Chicagoans, celebrities and just outright regular people with or without children who served as a lasting inspiration for hope, kindness and generosity raised $1,753,985.23; with every penny going towards Children’s Memorial's bottom line. I know I've said it before in 'Howlings' and I'll be damned if I don't say it again: Eric, Kathy and everyone else who pitched in, no matter how small or big your donation was, you are forever in my Howl Of Fame.

Questions or comments,
e-mail Coyote at: artofthepaw@yahoo.com
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