Trash Talking 101: The Rules of Engagement

Trash Talking 101: The Rules of Engagement

By Chris Ackerman (Nov 28, 2007) Doghouse Boxing

Given all the antics we’ve seen and heard over the past few months, it seems appropriate and necessary to have a frank and earnest discussion about trash-talking. It goes by many names, “talkin’ smack”, “sh@t talk” and the oh-so-tired “dissing”, but whatever the term the bottom line is that, done properly, verbal sparring is a potent psychological weapon crafted to give one an edge over their opponent. Note the key words, ‘done properly’. There are real pitfalls in the trash talk realm; pitfalls that can not only jeopardize a fighter’s chance at victory, but cost them a lot of money, too.

Some guys are just natural born talkers. We’ve all seen James Toney rip it up. We’ve all laughed at and with Bernard Hopkins diatribes and, of course, we’ve all been in awe of the master, Muhammad Ali. Some guys struggle with it a bit, others don’t bother at all, choosing to go the other way and be, at all times, respectful or just silent. Some who aren’t exactly gifted orators come up with rants that range from the ridiculous to the just plain confusing to the hysterical.

The big problem with public speaking as a celebrity, athlete or politician is that once spoken words are forever on record to be pored over for years to come. Trying to spin after the fact or explain away potentially damaging statements is about as useful as training an attack pug. Mike Tyson can never distance himself from his expressed desire to consume the non-existent offspring of Lennox Lewis. Mitch “Blood” Green’s rant about Cecily Tyson is a youtube classic portrayal of a crazy person, and little Floyd’s recent, ill-advised and confusing comments about Ricky Hatton was akin to lobbing a softball to Barry Bonds.

The example of Floyd Mayweather Jr. is also a good illustration of the second danger associated with poorly chosen phraseology. There is a very real risk of a colossal backfire, especially with a quick-witted, media savvy opponent. PBF

was heard to remark, “I wish I was in prison with you, I’d make you my bitch.” Clearly the point Floyd was making was that he plans to dominate Hatton and was employing hyperbole to indicate how total it would and could be. But any half-witted, elementary school dingbat could knock that gift right out of the park. Hatton is no dingbat, and he spun it perfectly around by expressing dismay at Floyd’s fantasizing about him dropping the soap. Flawless victory.

Constant venomous or ludicrous trash-talk can be a financial detriment if it becomes so mean-spirited, trite, low brow or classless that it is off-putting to the public. Obviously, in some cases, there is a place for a villain, but there is also more than enough room for pure, exciting and full out competition between two respectful athletes.

Guess who makes more money, Oscar de la Hoya or Ricardo Mayorga? Ok, that might have something to do with other factors, but the point is still valid. Endorsements, public appearances, partnerships and other lucrative opportunities exist for those embraced by the public to a far greater degree than for the enemy of the people. Choosing the role of the agitator is often to the detriment of one’s personal finance, not to mention legacy. History is kind to heroes. They are worshipped and revered, villains are vanquished or frauds. The world of sport isn’t like the world of fake wrestling; a fighter can’t be a faceman one night and a heel the next.

Public relations can be a difficult minefield to navigate, particularly for one whose forte isn’t talking or acting, but putting the hurt on people. Not too many pugilists have the time, interest or training to really properly manage their image and that part of it they either wing or leave up to management. Both can be very big mistakes, although a good manager will offer important guidance through the media experience.

For those without such assistance, I’ve enlisted all my paltry and questionable training to put together a very basic list of things fighters should consider before opening their mouths.

1.) To thine own self be true – damn the bible contains some gems, doesn’t it? Pardon my language. Can anyone for one second imagine Sonny Liston preening for the cameras, kissing babies, praising an opponent’s abilities or being otherwise happy-go-lucky? What about James Toney? Conversely, imagine Ray Leonard acting the thug or Joe Calzaghe goin’ street. Trying to fake who you are is a fool’s game, and one that will get you exposed as a cheesy fraud. Are you listening Mr. P4P?

If your personality is such that being gregarious, personable and likeable comes naturally, go with it and count yourself as very fortunate. Natural camera-friendly athletes are in top demand, even if the skills aren’t as flawless as John Q. Household wants to believe. Hi, David Beckham, always a pleasure.

If you are not, if you are surly or even just introverted by nature, don’t put on the act, it’s too tiring and impossible to maintain. Eventually, you will blow it and invariably the outburst will come at the most inappropriate time. When it does, you not only lose the public who thought you were Mr. Nice Guy, you don’t gain the ones who love a gangster because you are a Johnny Come Lately to the genre. Not even Hulk Hogan could successfully go from uber good guy to bad guy no matter how black he painted his beard.

2.) Know yourself – while this may sound like a different way to state the first point, what I refer to here is having the personal insight to know your limitations in terms of language, comeback speed and witty repartee. If you aren’t sure, ask someone but be non-threatening about it because people are hesitant to give bad news or seemingly negative feedback about personality to professional inflictors of catastrophic injury.

If you don’t have the gifts, that doesn’t make you a bad person or less intellectually astute. Not every president is Reagan, not every baseball player is Manny Ramirez and not every fighter is Ali. Just as a slugger shouldn’t try to out finesse a boxer, a blunt, meat and potatoes type communicator shouldn’t try to match verbal barbs with anyone adept at improvisation. Launch big shots from a distance and hope they find their mark.

3.) Know your opponent – before you get into trading shots with your opponent outside the ring, take the time to research how they conduct themselves in the public eye. Clearly this goes hand in hand with point 2 in terms of the hows and whens of trash-talking. Sometimes one guy is so overmatched in this regard that saying nothing is the best tactic. There is a famous quote by Samuel Johnson that says, “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” Learn it and embrace the fact that silence and a menacing look are far more foreboding than paltry or immature insults.

The second aspect to this requirement is an understanding of what weaknesses your opponent has and what will truly get under their skin. Calling a proven warrior and future first-ballot hall of fame inductee a fraud or a bitch is just plain dumb, especially if you, yourself have a less impressive resume. Clearly an outstanding world class fighter is not going to be goaded out of their game by such nonsense. However, one with that storied a career is more likely to be battle-weary, aged and perhaps a step slower and those are more appropriate and effective angles upon which to capitalize.

The goal of trash-talking is to get the other guy off his game; to get him to act and fight in ways that are contrary to his strengths. By calling a guy old, withered and just plain had you might very well draw him into a war in an attempt to prove he is anything but past his vicious prime. Of course, the associated risk is waking a potentially sleeping giant. Knowing your opponent will allow you the insight and wisdom to properly deploy your troops before initiating psychological warfare.

4.) Stay calm – remember in all but exceptional cases, talking sh*t is just part of the game; it’s business, and real emotion has no place in the boardroom. Just like a game plan is plotted for fight night, so should one be created for the lead up. Do not deviate, but be flexible enough in your plan to anticipate and handle unforeseen contingency. Adaptability is crucial for any scheme regardless of its goal.

If you are quick, batter your opponent without mercy and interrupt often. From time to time let them have a couple words in edgewise, then ridicule what they say with the slick, catchy one-liners that come naturally. Inevitably, you will frustrate and rattle your out-gunned foe and, of course, dazzle the audience with your charm and wit. Own the room.

If you aren’t so quick, or just aren’t feelin’ it, be dismissive. Rolling eyes, yawns, and realistic-looking feigned boredom are all great tools for stealing the thunder from the hyperactive opponent who continues to insult you. He will come off as immature and trying to hard. An attention whore. You will come off as the consummate professional who is above the fray and not willing to reduce himself to such childish nonsense. An effective defence can be just as important as a great offense, if not moreso, particularly when the defensive posturing also inflicts damage.

Panic in any situation is the enemy. Knee-jerk comebacks almost never work and getting flustered is ticket for the Titanic. Take a breath, make a gesture, pretend to converse with your trainer or manager…anything to stop the momentum. Through it all, relax.

5.) Stay Inbounds – Racial references are against the rules. Boxing is a sport that has always been inclusive of everyone, regardless of size and regardless of race. The purity of that part of the game is not to be interfered with under any circumstances. That being said, country of origin is fair game, because such rivalries are often great sources of national pride and intrigue.

Talking about dead relatives is beyond inappropriate. It may sell tickets (although I don’t believe that) to people wanting to see your head removed from your body, but Nike won’t call.

Talking about inflicting fatal injuries upon your opponent is a taboo that needs no further discussion.

Nothing here is new information or particularly innovative advice. There is sometimes a need to reiterate or even just iterate common sense, because it isn’t flashy or trendy or new. It’s common and therefore it often gets overlooked and ignored. Trash-talking is fun, effective, makes for great media copy and really gives fans an opportunity to experience the cult of personality that makes athletes superstars and kings among men. And it just may get you what you want. Ask Antonio Tarver, whose beakin’ got him RJJ.

If you are smart, great. You already know what to do, how to do it, when and where. But there is always someone smarter so don’t believe your own hype.

If you aren’t so smart, or aren’t sure or just don’t care about being sharp-witted, that’s great too. Walk softly and carry a big sneer. Let your fists do the talking. Do your talking in the ring. Make him eat his words come Saturday night. Whatever the tried and true cliché, embrace it as both shield and sword.

The last rule? Have fun. Let’s face it, whether playing a board game, a sport, a video game…whether in the office, the coffee shop, on the pitch, playing darts, shooting pool or drinking up a storm, talkin’ smack is a riot. Just keep a straight face during the press conference.

Questions or comments,
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Chris at: chrisackerman@hotmail.com
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