Miami Heat, Shawn Kemp, Olympics, Penn State covered by National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Written by Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Adam Hofstetter, Ryan Murphy, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait (July 31, 2008) Doghouse Boxing  
British basketball fans have bought up all the tickets for the London preseason match up between the Miami Heat and the New Jersey Nets three months before the game. American basketball fans are hoping the two teams stay there.

Shawn Kemp is on the verge of joining a professional team in Italy. Kemp is brushing up on his Italian by learning key phrases like 'restaurant', 'train station' and 'paternity suit'.

Beijing's air quality has shown drastic improvement. The air is now clear enough that we will be able to see the American athletes getting hosed.

And since 2002, 46 Penn State football players have been charged with 163 criminal complaints. The team has violated so many laws, Penn State will now change it's name to State Pen. The criminal athletes will also not be allowed into the NFL Draft, since they're all going to sign with the Bengals anyway..

For more of the Sports Minute (Or So), visit

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