Paul Williams, Winky Wright and more hit by National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait, National Lampoon Sports (April 15, 2009) Doghouse Boxing (Photo © German Villasenor)  
The U.S. Women's Hockey team beat Canada to win its second consecutive World Hockey Championship title. In related news, it's been a very, very slow day in the world of sports.

Florida International University is close to striking a deal with Isiah Thomas. We're guessing Thomas has put together a fantastic intramural team.

Ichiro Suzuki said he's excited to rejoin the Seattle Mariners. Which is conclusive proof that a stomach ulcer can impair your judgment.

In boxing, Paul Williams donminated Winky Wright this weekend. Williams is a fighter so intimidating, he is avoided by most opponents, while Wright is a fighter so boring, he is avoided by most fans.

And colorful Tigers hurler Mark Fidrych has passed away at the age of 54. Sadly, baseballs around America now have no one to talk to.

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