|Oscar De La Hoya and more hit by National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So)
By Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Ryan Murphy, and Chris Strait, National Lampoon Sports (April 16, 2009) Doghouse Boxing
The last place New York Islanders have won the NHL draft lottery and will have the first overall pick. Unfortunately, the rules do not allow them to draft a new GM.
Isiah Thomas has signed a five-year contract to become the new coach at little known Florida International University. On the positive side, the games will be so boring that he'll no longer need sleeping pills.
Celine Dion is on the verge of buying the Montreal Canadiens. Because she wants to ruin more than just music.
TBS has signed David Wells to become their newest baseball analyst. In related news, TBS will now broadcast on a 10-minute delay.
And Oscar De La Hoya has announced his retirement from boxing. In related news, so has ticketmaster.
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