National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So) on Heidi Klum, Oakland A's, Chicago Cubs, Montreal Canadiens and much more
By Written by Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Adam Hofstetter, Ryan Murphy, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait (March 27, 2008) Doghouse Boxing
Andy Pettitte will miss his first scheduled start of the regular season because of back spasms. Possibly because of that monkey he'd been carrying around for 8 years.

The Oakland A's ended their Japan series with a 5-1 victory over the Red Sox. The A's were happy with the win, though depressed that there are more A's fans in Japan than there are in Oakland.

The Chicago Cubs have named Kerry Wood their official closer. That way the twenty innings he pitches before he gets injured will be a bit more spread out.

A slick new Speedo swimsuit that has led to 12 world records this year will be examined by swimming's world governing body. A bathing suit hasn't attracted this much attention since Heidi Klum.

And the Montreal Canadiens clinched a playoff spot with a 7-5 win over the Ottawa Senators. The news comes as a surprise to many people who didn't realize the NHL lockout was over.

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