National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So) on Paris Hilton, Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, Pacman Jones, Dodgers and much more
By Written by Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Adam Hofstetter, Ryan Murphy, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait (April 1, 2008) Doghouse Boxing  
Two cheetahs were captured in Florida after attacking the owner of a wildlife sanctuary. When he heard that two Florida cheetahs were put behind bars, Bobby Bowden instinctively posted bail.

New Michigan football coach Rich Rodriguez is emphasizing that he'll run a family program. We imagine it will be something like the Menendez family.

Pacman Jones is closer to signing with Dallas. He's so close, the Cowboys cheerleaders are now wearing raincoats.

Minnesota Twins fans are preparing for yet another disappointing season after briefly flirting with success. These Twins have failed so many times, they may change their name to the Minnesota Mary Kate and Ashley Olsens.

And over 115,000 people watched a Red Sox/Dodgers exhibition game at the L.A. Coliseum. In order to see that kind of attendance again, the Dodgers will play their next home game in Paris Hilton's bedroom.

For more on the Sports Minute (Or So), visit minuteorso.com.

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