National Lampoon Sports Minute (Or So) on NASCAR, Brett Farve, Olympics, NBA and much more
By Written by Steve Hofstetter, Keith Alberstadt, Adam Hofstetter, Ryan Murphy, Elliot Steingart, and Chris Strait (April 11, 2008) Doghouse Boxing  
Suspended NASCAR driver Aaron Fike admitted that he shot up heroin on some race days. The news shocked the NASCAR world, since their drug of choice is usually Schlitz. Or meth.

China has uncovered a plot by members of a Muslim extremist group to sabotage the Beijing Summer Olympics. Take that Muslim extremists! China already beat you to it.

Brett Favre suggested he may return to the Green Bay Packers, but only if Aaron Rodgers goes down with an injury. In a related story, John Madden was spotted atop Rodgers' staircase with hundreds of tiny marbles.

And New Knicks President Donnie Walsh wants Isaiah Thomas to explain the team's dismal performance. Thomas is planning to give Walsh a copy of the biography of Isaiah Thomas.

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