Pay-Per-View with 'The Boys': The Body Shot Edition
By Martin Wade (September 21, 2004) 
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Boxing Fans! You asked for it, okay, maybe you didn’t, but I’m gonna give I to ya anyway. Another installment of the 'Boxing Junkie's Pay-Per-View with The Boys'. Allow me to re introduce the Boys as it was way back on May 15th that I let you into my miniature bachelor pad. The fellas did come by for the so-called 'dress rehearsal' pay-per-view in June, but to tell you the truth I kept dozing off. I mean it’s really not a pay-per-view bash unless the headliner is between two pound-for-pound entrants. So here’s the line up for tonight’s superfight between Bernard 'the Executioner' Hopkins and 'the Golden Boy' Oscar De La Hoya.

There’s my man Charles AKA 'Chicken Grease', a cruiserweight whose best days were at light heavyweight. 'Grease' had to negotiate a pass from the missus due to an added addition to his lovely family. Then there’s my boy 'Crazy' David, a super middleweight (due to stress), a father of three daughters with one due in November, don’t make any false moves around this brotha. And last but not least there’s the 'Big Oak', the heavyweight who as I’ve stated before thinks I talk too damn much for my lack of size. As all fellow fight party hosts know, everybody has a responsibility and with my boys the positions are ironclad: Grease – brew; Big Oak – food; and Dave provides the… Crazy. So without further delay, here’s how the 'body shot' edition went down over here at my place.

7:30 pm: (Knocking on the door)

Me: Ayo Whodatis?

Big Oak: It’s me; Riddick (Bowe) is there a lil' dude in there? Somebody wanna talk to me? I’m coming back.

Me: (Playing along) Awwwwww damn Riddick, aint nobody here!

Big Oak: Is Evander in there? You know I wanna fight him for the crazy as hell championship of the world.

(I open the door; Big Oak is on a roll.)

Big Oak: Yeah they said the winner gets a paper Burger King crown and some medications. My wife in here?

As the big fella enters (with two arms full of barbecue) he survey’s the surroundings and eyeballs a pile of brand new Everlast Heritage Apparel.

Big Oak: No!!

Me: And what!!

Big Oak: Hell No!! You rockin the Joe Louis Cornerman shirt son! Represent! That sh— is tight!

(Phone Rings)

Me: Wusscrackin, Grease?

Grease: Yeah, I heard you predicted De La hoya, when you gonna get enough of going for the pretty boys, buttercup.

Me: Uh, brah I ain't gonna be too many more 'buttercups' and I think Oscar can outbox Nard. Where you at?

Grease: I’m walkin up to your door, what you gonna say when Nard bust Oscar up?

Me: I know what the hell I’m talking about, Oscar's gonna box his ears off.

To me, a clear indication of a super fight is when non-boxing fans call you and ask you if they should purchase the fight. Bob Arum owes me at least 108 bucks because I guaranteed two friends it would go the distance. Unfortunately one of those friends is sure he won't be enjoying cable television by this time next month. Once Crazy David arrived me and the Boys settled in to what I would call 'eventful' night of boxing.

The card rocketed off to a fast start when junior middleweight Kofi Jantuah starched suspect Marco Antonio Rubio with a counter left hook 30 seconds into the first round. This punch elicited the usual synchronized
DAAAAAAAAMMMMN! from the Boys and me.

Chicken Grease: Damn, he knocked that cat out like he had a plane to catch

Big Oak: Man, that brotha talking about “call me sir”, I ain't never seen that brotha in my life, I’ma call him not Winky Wright.

With the early knockout HBO practically re-aired the Sugar Ray Leonard vs. Marvin Hagler 'Legendary Nights' episode, which received mixed reviews and heated debate from the fella’s.

Big Oak: You heard what Larry Merchant said; Sugar Ray “stole” that fight fair and square.

Me: Hey we can pop it in right now playa, Sugar schooled Hagler.

Grease: Is that what you think Oscars’ gonna do? Buttercup?

Crazy David: (looking at his watch) Man, why can’t they just keep it rolling? You mean to tell me it’s going to take an hour to get the gloves on the next two guys?

(The room erupts in laughter.)

Grease: (talking to the TV) Man ya’ll better get the next fight on, you know David aint OK.

After watching more analysis, a Sugar Shane Mosley interview and the introduction of 'the painkiller controversy', the Boys and me fill the lull with what else; more drinking.

Big Oak: Man, why JB must ask Shane about his daddy? All up in his business. I’d be like man, stay out my damn family business.

Grease: Oscar should be allowed to take all kinds of painkillers cus he bout to be in a lot of pain.

As Marc Ratner talks to Larry Merchant about the judging selections for De La Hoya/Hopkins, 'Crazy David' asks a great question.

Crazy David: Uh, why can't we see that dude getting his ass whooped right behind them?

Big Oak: Man, Oscar's the only boxer in the world who can't whoop nobody ass, but can't nobody whoop his ass.


Grease: I bet Bernard will whoop his ass, man that’s inmate Y4145. They might send him back after tonight.

Finally, at last Juan Manuel Marquez faces Orlando Salido in a 'keep busy' bout (thanks IBF) that could have provided the elite featherweight with a big scare. The contender Salido seemed to take too long to warm up to the task of pressing the fight against the savvy Marquez. Every minute of this bout seemed to contribute to undoing all of the work done by fighters like Kevin Kelley to put the division on the map.

Big Oak: I’m cool with the 'Americanization' of Mexican fighters; I’m just not cool with televising it.

Crazy David: Uhm, I think they should forsake our country and fight.

After JMM cruised to a boring unanimous decision the room erupted at the sight of boxing’s premier trash talker, light heavyweight kingpin Antonio Tarver.

Big Oak: Yeah Antonio! Talk some shit.

Grease: Man look at that pinky ring, no wonder he filed bankruptcy.

Crazy Dave: Cheap ass Grease.

Grease: Talking about dietary engineering, Oscar gonna need facial engineering.

At last, the waiting is over and the biggest 'event' in the boxing world is upon us. Oscar De La hoya and Bernard Hopkins both enter the ring respectively with Hopkins winning the war of ring walk soundtracks.

Crazy Dave: Sinatra baby, you 'young heads' don’t know nothing bout 'Ole Blue Eyes'.

Grease: Shoulda came out to some DMX.

As the first round began the first thing I noticed is Oscar seemed to want to stand in front of Bernard attempting to get his jab going. Both fighters stayed cautious, with De La Hoya giving off the impression of aggression with several flurries. I would give the first to Oscar but Grease scored it for Bernard due to a sneaky punch to Oscar’s leg in one of the few clinches.
In round two Oscar seemed to showcase superior hand speed, flurrying in several spots and getting out of Bernard’s range. Oscar did a good job of mixing up shots, making sure to invest in body blows. Round three was more of the same but Hopkins changed the landscape by inching closer and timing Oscar with right hand leads. Round four probably provided the most spirited exchanges with Oscar even landing several low blows without a warning.

Grease: Oh, the pretty boy can go low, where’s the warning?

By round five Hopkins seemed to be turning up the heat, landing hard rights and deflecting a lot of Oscar's diminished output. By this time my buddies started to chant the wizened savant Bouie Fischer’s mantra “Like drops of rain”. In round six Oscar transitioned (out of fatigue?) to a hands down defense, utilizing more head movement than earlier rounds. Oscar presented a renewed resistance to the Hopkins momentum by jabbing to the head and body consistently.

By round seven Hopkins started to flash a little smile; it was a smile that indicated he was about to roll downhill on the Golden Boy. Oscar seemed to be unable to avoid the sneaky right hands and at this point Hopkins made it clear to this observer that the he used early caution as a deception to keep his prey stationary. Round eight was a precursor to the sudden dread that followed, Hopkins started setting up his power shots with an educated jab. De La Hoya, after delivering a parting hook at rounds end could not hide that look of helplessness as he walked back to his corner.

Round nine didn’t last but one minute and thirty seconds when the Executioner struck like a cobra, crumpling the Golden Boy with a left hook to the liver. Though game, Oscar revealed once and for all that he is not only past his optimum weight but also past the time when he was an exquisite 'mover' in the ring. Bernard Hopkins not only once again exhibited his considerable craft but an underrated athleticism. As for the Boys, they were split on the outcome. Grease believes Oscar didn’t get hit hard enough to stay down and questions why they showed every replay angle but behind Oscar. The Big Oak believes that nobody should even be touched in that spot let alone hit. This Boxing Junkie will take it for what it is, quite simply #19 in an extraordinary run of title defenses for an All Time Great.

Until The Next 'Jones'
'The Boxing Junkie'.
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